Catholics are having better sex than you are

The Family Research Council (FRC) recently published an article claiming that devout religious people have better sex.

The FRC article included the line, “Those who worship God weekly have the best sex.”

As some have pointed out, the survey  cited by the FRC is both dated (it came out in 1992), and it also points out that devout Catholics have better sex than mainline Christians. Oops.

Nor does the survey actually discuss quality of sex, but instead, asks whether or not people ever felt loved during sex with their current sexual partner. The survey showed that people who attend church weekly were most likely to feel loved during sex, that people who were married were more likely to feel loved during sex than unmarried people, and that Catholics were the most likely to feel loved during sex. Now, I’m no statistician, but here’s my easy explanation:

1. People who are married are more likely to love their sexual partner than people who are not married.

2. People who attend church weekly are more likely to be married.

3. Catholics are very likely to be married.

Of course, it could also be the holy spirit.

However, the Family Research Council did not take a prize for the most dishonest presentation of the survey. The US News and World Report ran a news article entitled about the FRC column entitled, “Devout Catholics Have Better Sex, Study Says”, implying that said study was recent.

I’m no sex therapist (and its a good thing, too, because I have a tendency to giggle), but it seems to me trying to say that all people will be sexually satisfied in a monogamous, heterosexual, married lifestyle is kind of silly. People are different, people like to have different kinds of sexual relationships.¬† And not just modern people – this was true in biblical times. Look at King Solomon. Trying to say that one kind of sexual relationship is somehow superior to other ones in objective, scientific “quality” seems an exercise that is as doomed as it is hypocritical.

Also, talking about how great your sex life is in a public space, even implicitly, just creeps me out. I suspect I’m not alone here. Being honest about difficulties and trying to share how complicated sex can be is fine in my book. Half of modern literature is based on this sort of straightforward over-sharing. But listening to a conservative Christian rhapsodizing endlessly about how awesome married sex is sort of like listening a fifty-year old man in a locker room who won’t shut up about how his wife gives great blowjobs. It’s ultimately dishonest posturing that has more to do with proving that you’re better than everybody else than trying to honestly share what your life is like. It’s an advertisement for heterosexual monogamy, and an extremely dishonest one at that.

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